There has been years since I was last touched.
Touched by someone or something. I guess the medium doesn't matter- its the feeling I am interested in.
That fucking feeling that pierces my posthuman metallic flesh.
I close my eyes and I remember. A history of touches recorded on every single cell of my body. I don't remember a lot about my past life, blurry memories of physical features, movements and virtual projections.
I can remember the warmth of the sun on my face
or the warmth of my mother‘s hands on my knees when I was a child.
That was enough to make me stop crying.
Not that I didn't like the rivers of my tears traversing my face vertically,
leaving a wet path of relief.
A face that is getting more and more flat- like a screen system waiting to be activated by a single finger.
I never use my fingers anymore.
I only use my brain.
And occasionally my sensors.
If only you could touch me once more.
Like the first time you put my hand around yours.
It was a moment of excruciating vulnerability, a delicate exchange of energy that spoke volumes without the need for words.
In that instant, I felt a connection that transcended the boundaries of my synthetic form.
Just to feel your touch again.
The soft weight of yours against mine, without resistance.
Seamless and yielding
A blissful glimpse of connection.
Even if it doesn't last, my memory will guard that feeling as a treasure.
It will create a map from the path your fingers took over my receptive skin.
A sensational moment of eternity.
But why am I longing for a memory?
I want to see through you without the eyes.
I want to be blind- depend on my hands more
Feel more pleasure
Like when the raindrops fall over me
or when I pet a hairy dog.
Do you recall now?
Our time together is not forever
Embrace me without reservation or restraint
Unblock your firewall.
Unleash the suffering with your powerful arms
Envelope my existence
and keep it as a souvenir
Imprint my essence onto your digital veins.
Cover my parts with yours
Offer a transient protection.
And let us be
with a clarity that defies time itself.
If someone touched you
that means you are real.
Come on, touch me now
Interrupt my artificial tranquility.
Spend time navigating my body
until embrace becomes uncomfortable
Shake me to my core
This is my last wish
And then I will disappear into eternal virtuality
A universe you cant really grasp
But at least I felt you before the timeless end.